Ejaculating Too Quickly, No Control Over Timing .
Premature Ejaculation or PE.
Premature ejaculation is the commonest sexual dysfunction to affect men, and by extension women, on the planet. It is more common even than erectile dysfunction. And it is also the most neglected and least understood problem. Very often the management of PE is left to Dr Google and to the quacks and chancers who lurk therein.
Definition of Premature Ejaculation.
Immediately this is where the problems start. There is still no agreed definition for PE. Both the International Society for Sexual Medicine and the International Classification of Diseases has come up with definitions that seem to imply the use of a stop watch as a diagnostic tool! The former says PE is ejaculating in less that one minute of commencing intercourse WHILE the latter gives the man less than 15 seconds to qualify for a PE badge.
Using time alone as the single criteria for defining premature ejaculation seems to me to be missing the point. My working definition for what its worth is that premature ejaculation is: “The continuous inability to control the timing of ejaculation such that the sexual needs of either party engaged in sexual activity is not being met.”
In practise however, I believe a man has premature ejaculation when he tells me he has it, when he perceives the timing of his ejaculation is problematic.
Management of Premature Ejaculation:
There are only three things worth while in the management of Premature Ejaculation and they are:
1. Behaviour Modification. This requires practise and may benefit from the help of a sex councillor. Basically it is about learning to recognise your point of no return when you know that if sexual stimulation continues beyond that point that you will ejaculate. At that precise point you discontinue all stimulation and let things settle down before starting again.
A lot of men tell me that they are unable to do this and I have to respect the validity of their point of view.
2. Topical Anaesthetics. These come in creams or gels such as Emla or Promescent. Clinical studies have shown these to be effective. Exactly where the gel is applied is crucial and I can help you with this if you wish.
3. The SSRI group of drugs. These too are very effective in showing down ejaculation. They are not without side effects of course but often the benefit/risk ratio makes sense.
If you suffer from the misery that PE can be and you are struggling to find some answers then I would be delighted to help.